Attack of the Nimbus

Nimbus knows who his mommy is. Everyone else is just everyone else to him. Chinchillas are quite loyal creatures, and even Chris, who has lived in this house since October, has difficulty getting Nimbus to interact with him. I'm not at the level of training Nimbus to do tricks or pick him up without difficulty (like the girl in the video below), but I can tell that he's bonded with me and only me... to a certain extent.

A perfect example is when my friend Morgan visited one night. Morgan is this drop dead gorgeous girl, who I had English classes with. We graduated together last month, and since then, she is living her life to the fullest. On a whim, she moved to the Virgin Islands and has been boating, chilling on the beaches and taking her life in a completely unexpected direction. She actually invited me to go with her. I was stunned and humbled by the offer, but I knew Nimbus would be miserable in the heat and noise of such a place. Sparta, too, but it was Nimbus I worried about. I declined, but I still think about what if... I actually found a posting for a reporter opening at a newspaper in the Virgin Islands. I might have shot myself in the foot for not jumping at that chance.

Anyway, Morgan always found Nimbus to be "creepy," and I can see how she came to that conclusion, in a way. Here is this fuzzy large rodent hopping around anywhere he pleases with an odd bristly tail. Nimbus doesn't understand the concept of personal boundaries and once he got over his sense of apprehension at this stranger in his territory, he wanted to investigate and check her out. Well, Morgan wasn't too keen on that, especially not with a chinchilla's preferred method of investigation.

Photo from quickmeme.com

Chinchillas discover the world through their whiskers and teeth. Their eyesight is poor, and if the object isn't moving, they really can't see it very well. There have been many occasions when Nimbus was joyfully running through the house and then BAM. He smacked right into a table leg because he couldn't see it coming. Horrible yet hilarious at the same time. So in order to get a sense of what they're up against, chinchillas will nibble. I know this, but Morgan didn't. Or, at least she didn't understand what that meant. There's a huge difference between a chinchilla bite and an exploratory nibble. Nimbus has drawn blood in two instances. My ex and Chris made a move he didn't like, and because he wasn't bonded to them, he showed them his displeasure. Nimbus has bitten me but never too hard. This happened a lot when giving him his medication, especially in the morning when he was sleeping. However, there seems to always be some restraint in those bites. It's more like a warning of "Don't mess with me right now" instead of a defense mechanism like "I'm protecting myself. Try that again, and you'll regret it." I think Morgan was under the impression that any contact with Nimbus's teeth meant he was about to attack. Really, she's a dog person, and I think Nimbus was intimidating. It's strange to watch a rabbit-squirrel-kangaroo like animal hopping around a living room. And when he takes off in a burst of energy, it's frighteningly stupefying.

Well, when Nimbus went to nibble Morgan to officially greet her, Morgan wasn't having any of it. She told me another one of our friends had texted her to come over. So, we prepared to leave. I sat on the floor of the living room near Nimbus's cage to eat a bowl of cereal before we left. Meanwhile, Morgan headed back to the couch from the kitchen where she'd dropped her beer bottle in the recycling bin. She walked toward the couch in her black stilettos to grab her purse and phone. By pure coincidence, Nimbus happened to be bouncing from the couch to the kitchen on whatever mission he'd planned. He and Morgan met in the middle of the living room. It was the classic trying to step around each other, but both taking steps to the same side. They went left. They went right. They went left again.

Finally, Nimbus grew pissed. This person was standing in his way and wouldn't let him pass. So, he attacked!

Nimbus has a very unusual way of attacking someone when they're standing above him. He goes for the feet. It's happened to me a couple of times. If I try to move Nimbus away from a book or DVD case that he's chewing and he's particularly fed up with my scoldings, he goes for the feet when I'm standing. It's basically him scrabbling at my socks with his front paws while making the angry chirping/barking noise. One day I'll get a video of him doing that because describing the sound just doesn't do it justice. The experience isn't painful or damaging in any way. I think it's hilarious! Well, Morgan didn't see it that way.

In reference to Achmed the Dead Terrorist ("SOB" is used in the linked video)

Still sitting on the floor, I watched as Nimbus dove at Morgan's feet to begin his attack. She screamed and ran.

"LEX! GET IT! GET IT! IT'S ATTACKING ME! OH MY GOSH, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

Morgan dashed between the kitchen counter and the dining table (my living and kitchen are connected as one room) and hid herself behind my roommate.

"I'm so sorry," she said to Chris as she clung to his shoulders. "I know I don't know you, but that thing was attacking me." She turned to me. "Lex, get it! Put it up. Oh my gosh, it's coming this way!"

I was trying not to slosh milk everywhere because I was laughing that hard. I shook my head, sputtering. "I can't. I can't breathe!" I laughed.

When my laughter settled, I set the bowl of cereal aside and reached out to Chris. "Hand me the Chinchiller," I said, referring to the granite rock that keeps chinchillas cool. Chris turned toward the refrigerator where we keep one at all times. This left Morgan completely exposed.

"No, no!" she cried, pointing. "He's under the table! He's under the table."

I burst out laughing again. "I see him," I answered. "I said Chinchiller. It's his rock thing."

Chris moved past Morgan and handed me the Chinchiller, and I handed him the warm one from the cage to put in the fridge. After I replaced the Chinchiller, I went for Nimbus and got him safely into his cage. Morgan, however, was scarred for life. She never came over to the house again... and maybe that was because she never had the time or something along those lines, but I believe it was because of Nimbus.

I still can't help laughing at this story, and I've been chuckling this whole time as I write it. Morgan tells this story often, but she does leave out the part about shuddering behind my roommate and shrieking about the rodent on the loose! Obviously, Nimbus has some attitude issues, but he always provides entertainment. I'm sorry, Morgan!! He's just a bit impatient. To any other friends that want to come over, I'd let the chinchilla have the right-of-way!!!

Photo from cheezburger.com